


To Much Love Will Kill You

by Lunaxharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Abusive Zayn, Anger, Beating, Blood and Violence, Child Abuse, Crying, Crying Louis, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flogging, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Louis Has An Eating Disorder, Love, M/M, Men Crying, Mpreg, Nouis, Punching, Rape, Sad, Swearing, Violence, larry - Freeform, zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:23:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6398425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunaxharry/pseuds/Lunaxharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Zayn can get violent at times but he always tells me he loves me no matter what.<br/>Our 4 year old son Niall has to live with this. My best friend Harry has always been there for me and his son Liam and Niall are best friends.<br/>Sometimes i don't know what to do. I don't like it when he shouts or hits me. I always try to protect Niall, even if it means i have to get hurt. But at the end of the day we love each other and nothing will change that.<br/>(Will try make the summary better)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can also read this story on Wattpad. My username is Lunaxharry and the story is exactly the same as it is on here. But it's better to read on Wattpad because i update more on there.

My eyes shoot open. I just woke up from a horrible nightmare. I dream't that Zayn hurt our 4 year old son, Niall.

I sit up carefully and quietly walk out the bedroom, trying not to wake up Zayn who hates being woken up, he's definitely not a morning person.

I walk into Niall's small green room. He's sleeping peacefully so i shut the door and walk downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee.  
I look at the clock to see it's 7 am. Zayn will have to get up soon. Zayn's got two jobs. I don't have one since i have to look after Niall and clean the house and other shit.

Im drinking my coffee and just staring at the white wall in front of me. I jump out of my skin when i feel a hand on my shoulder.  
It's just Zayn. I put my hand on his and he gives it a little kiss and makes his kisses to my cheek.  
"Morning my beautiful hubby" he says calmly. I guess hes in a good mood, thank god. "Morning, have a nice sleep?" I mumble. He grabs my coffee and begins to drink it. "Yeah. Oh Lou, i won't be coming back until late tonight so don't wait up". I nod, im a little happy about that. Maybe i can invite Harry over.

"I don't want anyone over either" he warns me. I nod again, maybe next time.

Two hours have passed and Zayn is now gone and I'm currently scrubbing the floors like a slave.  
I hear small cries from upstairs.  
I wash my hands and go up to Niall's room. I pick him up and try to get him to stop crying.

"Hello big boy. You have a nice sleep?" I ask him. He just puts his head in the crook of my neck in reply.  
"You want to see Hazza and LiLi today, Ni?" He nods and smiles up at me. "No Daddy?" I shake my head no. "Nope, just you and me. Daddy has work all day today. And will be coming home when your asleep" Niall just smiles and i hear his tummy rumble. "Ni, want breakfast?" "Yes please Papa"

I made Niall his favorite cereal and now he's sat on the couch in the sitting room watching his morning shows.  
I text Harry, knowing he'll be at home.

Hey haz, u busy today? X-Louis

My phone buzzes 2 minutes later with a reply

Hiya Lou! No im not today x -Harry

I reply

Thats great. Can me and Ni come over?? -Louis

Of course you can. I gotta just clean up a little so text me when your setting off. X -Harry

Alright, in abit then bye -Louis

I walk up to Niall and see that his show has finished. "C'mon Ni, let's get you dressed" i pick him up and take him upstairs to get him dressed. I let Niall pick out his outfit. He gets his mickey mouse top and white trousers. Those are defiantly going to get dirty. Why did i buy him white clothes.  
I get him ready and tell him to play with his woody and buzz toys while i get ready.

I go into the bathroom and look at my face. Dark circles under my eyes and I'm pale as fuck.  
I wash my face and brush my teeth and do my hair so that i have a fringe.  
There's blood in my fingernails... I don't want to remember last night's events so i push it to the back of my mind.

"Ni! Come downstairs please were going now" i text Harry letting him know we are on are way. He replies with an ok and when Niall comes downstairs i crouch down to him.  
"Ni, remember no telling Daddy okay?" Niall nods already knowing not to.

At Harry's house

Its now lunch time and Niall is outside with Harrys 4 year old son Liam.  
Harry got pregnant from a one night stand, he doesn't want the actual father in his life because Harry said he didn't like him. I've never met him anyway and I'm just happy with whatever he decides. .

"He didn't do anything to you again, did he?" He asks me.  
"Harry, you know he doesn't mean to" i say while sipping my coffee. I avoid lunch today, as Zayn told me i need to 'stop being a fat bitch and lose weight'  
Harry sighs and shakes his head. "He's a fucking bastard Lou, you and me both know that"  
"He told me he would stop and promised. It will just take time" i look out the window and watch Liam and Niall eat on the blanket on the grass.  
"I can tell your not telling me something this time Louis. What did he do?"  
"Harry, can we please stop talking about this. Im not hiding anything. Im always honest with you" i lie feeling a little guilty.  
"I can tell when your lying Louis. You know how it makes me feel"  
I just roll my eyes and walk out the back door to the kids.

"Hey lads! You finished your lunch?"  
"I ate all mine!" Liam laughs. I pat his head and take his plate and Nialls.  
"Papa? Can i sleep over here tonight?" Niall asks me with big eyes. I know he prefers it over here than his own house. I think he just wants a night without having to hear shouting.  
I have a debate with myself. I'll have to ask Zayn, he normally won't let me do anything without his permission.  
"Only if its okay with Haz" i tell him. He nods and runs to Harry in the kitchen.

"Hazzabear. Please can i sleep over? Please. I'll be good" he begs Harry as im walking in with Liam, whos holding the empty cups from outside.  
"Of course you can buddy" Harry looks at me and silently asks if its okay. I nod and he says "Great! We'll have a movie night and eat lots of sweets and popcorn. How does that sound lads!" Liam and Niall jump up and down with excitement.

Im just dreading going home and telling this to Zayn...


	2. Chapter 2

The clock strikes 4 and ive already gone back to the house to finish my chores.  
Kitchen done  
Bathroom done  
Laundry not done  
Fuck and there's loads of it and i still need Zayn to buy us a new washer since the other one is broken. I keep forgetting. Shit.

Fuck this, i just want a break.  
I drag myself into the kitchen and sit down.  
I hate this house so much, the house is so small. This is why Zayn has two jobs. We can't afford anything.  
Luckily I've been saving for myself. And now that Zayn told me he won't be back until late. I'll finally be able to have some me time and spend something on me.

Deciding on going just staying in. I order myself an Indian takeaway. Im so hungry. I haven't ate since he told me I'm fat and he'll leave if i put on another pound.

Dont tear up now Louis, cry after you've eaten the food I tell myself.  
There's a knock at the door an hour later. I pay for it and eat all the food.  
After im done i throw it in the bin outside so Zayn won't get suspicious.

Now 7 o'clock. I ring Harry's phone.  
~Hey Haz, can i speak to Ni? -Louis  
~Sure hold on a sec. -Harry  
~Papa! -Niall  
~Hey buddy, you having fun? -Louis  
~Yes! We made cookies and i de-cora-ted mine like mickey and fireman sam and then a bunny! -Niall

Niall rambles on about the cookies and how they put fake batman and spiderman tattoos on themselves and other things. I tell him goodnight and i will pick him up tomorrow.

Having fallen asleep while watching 'The Walking Dead' i dream about last nights events.  
I wake up drenched in my own sweat and go to the bathroom to take a shower.

Getting out the shower i put on a clean pair of boxers and my dark blue dressing gown on.

I sit on the sofa downstairs and resume the episode of what i was watching.  
I check my phone. Now 10:47pm and i have 3 missed calls from Zayn. Oh god... This was half an hour ago. Im dead. Literally. Im scared should i phone him back? No... That might make him angry. Oh theres a text from him i didn't notice.

I'll be home soon. -Zayn

Sorry i was in the shower and okay x -Louis

I don't get a reply. I don't expect to anyway.  
10 minutes later i hear the sound of keys ruffling at the door. The door closes with a little slam and i flinch. All i can hear is lots of noises in the kitchen. What's he doing?  
I start to smell smoke.  
I jump out of the sofa and make my way to the smell and just see that Zayn is having a cig in the kitchen.

He notices me standing at the door looking pissed off.  
"I come home after a very very long hard day at work. And the least you could do is not look like I've done something to piss you off" his tone scares me.  
"You told me you'd stop smoking! And worst off all your doing it in the fucking house" i find a small bit of confidence in me.

He flicks finished cig on the floor and steps on it as he makes his way over to me.  
"Love, I'm just stressed out that's all. I promise I'll quit soon."  
I just nod then make my way to watch 'The Walking Dead'.

Zayn sits on the end of the couch and puts his arms out for me to come cuddle. I just do it and we watch the episode quietly.

It finishes and Zayn speaks up. "So where you been today?" I just tell him the truth and that i went to Harry's house and told him that Niall is over there right now.

"Why didn't you tell me this as soon as i walked in?"  
"What the fuck you even going over there for? So he can fuck you, is that it?" His voice gets lower. He pushes me off of him. Im not hurt but i doubt it for the next 5 minutes.  
"You piece of shit! I told you i don't want you or Niall anywhere near that fucking whore anymore!" I don't answer him which just makes him more mad.

He stands up and grabs my hair pulling me up so our faces are close.  
"Answer me, you slut! What did i say?!" His grip on my hair tightens

I whimper when he lets go of my hair and pushes me onto the floor and spits on me, like im some peice of scum.

Zayn gets angry sometimes... It's not his fault he doesn't mean it. I know he doesn't. He loves me and i love him. I guess i deserve the hits he gives me because he's always right.

After he spat on me, he pulled me back up and dragged me to our bedroom. Im scared. Hes either 1. Going to hit me. Or 2. Make love to me.  
I dont want either 'cos they both hurt.

"Zayn I'm sorry. Please don't" i beg. "Why the fuck would you go to his house i warned you once before, looks like the first warning didn't get through that thick head of yours" he jabs his finger on the side of me head.

My head just goes down to look at the floor.  
"You fuck everything up don't you?!" I stand silent. "ANSWER ME BITCH!" Zayn shouts while unbuckling his belt.  
"I fuck everything up" i tell him quietly tears run down my face.

Zayn grabs my arm and throws me on the bed. "Take your dressing gown off!" He orders. I do as he orders and throw it on the floor.  
He snaps the belt and brings it up over his shoulder and slams it down hard on my back, the buckle end digging into my skin.  
I let out a loud painful screeching noise and sob.  
He repeats this multiple times, until i see red on the white sheets of our bed.

"Z-Zayn... P-pleeeasee" im shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, the pain on my back hurts so much.

I dont realize hes stopped until i feel my hair being gripped and my mouth being opened, to have a cock shoved down my throat.

"Yeah! You slut. Is this how Harry had you?!" I close my eyes shut and gag when he pounds into mt throat.

"Fucking slut you are. Fat cunt! Ahhhh" he shoots his load in my mouth and takes his cock out my mouth. I was about to spit it out but Zayn takes a hold of my jaw and head making me swallow it.

I feel sick and the pain in my back hurts alot.  
"That should teach you. Are you truly sorry now?" He asks me, more calmer now. "Yes i-im so s-sorry! I'll stay away f-from H-harry"  
He takes a step towards me and i flinch when he puts his arms out. Noticing he wants me to hug him. I slowly go into them accepting all his comfort.

"Im sorry i had to do that, babe. You know i love you to much" he tells me. I nod my head in reply.

Im just happy Niall wasn't home to hear this.


	3. Chapter 3

Its been three days since i dropped Niall at Harry's. Niall begged me for him to spend the full weekend with Liam and Harry. Of course me, always giving into he, i let him stay, which only resulted in Zayn getting mad again but he only punched my eye, so i guess that isn't bad.

It was late in the evening at around 7 pm when i went to go pick Niall up.

I wore my sunglasses. I know Harry is going to be furious.

I knocked on the door and Liam opened it real quick.  
"Lou!" He smiled at my presence. He hugged my legs and skipped into the kitchen to get Harry.

Niall comes walking from the kitchen and runs to me. "Missed you!" I hug him and tell him i missed him too.

"I painted a picture for Daddy  
Do you think he'll like it?"  
"Of course he will, Ni" he smiles at me and shows me the picture of the painting of me, Zayn and Niall in the middle all of us holding hands on a beach.

Harry comes from the kitchen. His hair in a bun and wearing ONLY blue jeans with no top. Woah, he has a nice body. Louis dont think like that, were only friends. And you're married to a loving husband Zayn.

My thought's remind me off the other night. Should i tell him to stay away? No... He's my best friend, i could never tell him to stay away from me.

Harry notices my sunglasses and the two bin liners im holding.  
"Hey Lou" he hugs me patting my back. That makes me whimper and hold in tears.

Of course Harry being nosy and all and also noticing my whimper, he looks at me strangely. "Why do you have sunglasses on? Its not even sunny outside"

Groaning i shake my head no. Harry gently holds my hand and takes me to the kitchen.

"Take 'em off" he demands.  
I shake no again which angers him, with a hint of hurt.

"Fine... Dont tell anyone please..."  
"Louis you to have to tell someone. Its getting bad just-" he gasps when i took the sunglasses off.

"Im okay Harry. Now please... Just stay out of it. I know you get worried but me and Zayn love each other. He wouldnt hurt me nor do it on purpose. Now cab we drop the subject. Please" i ramble out irritated.

"Fine... What's in those bin liner's then?" He asks.  
I tell him about my washing machine bring broke and he takes the bags from me and days he will do the washing and iron them. I thank him and give him a hug.

"Right i gotta go, I'll come in a few days. Say bye Niall" we say or goodbyes to Liam and Harry.

When me and Niall reach the house i open it with me keys and wall in with Niall on my hip.

Zayn is currently in the kitchen, sat down.

Niall tells me to put him down so i do. He goes up to his daddy and shows him the picture he drew.  
"Daddy. I make this just for you. You like it?" Please be nice and like it Zayn...

"Ohh... I know where you get your art skills from" Zayn says. He knows I'm crap at drawing. He technically just insulted his sons drawing but I'm glad Niall doesn't understand.

I take the picture from Zayn and stick it on the fridge.

"What did you do at Harry's house then?" Zayn asks through gritted teeth to Niall.

Niall tells him about the tattoos and the cookies he made.  
"Hmmmm okay"

Zayn looks at his phone and then I remember to ask him.  
"Um, Zayn?" He doesn't look up but says "what".

"We need to buy a new washer. The other one is broken"  
"Can't afford one right now. What you done with the dirty laundry?"  
I tell him Harry's sorting it out.

"Didn't i fucking tell you about him" he shout making Niall looks at me with big eyes.

"Niall go get ready for bed" Zayn orders him.  
"But Daddy i-" "Now!" And Niall scrambles out the kitchen up stairs to get ready for bed.

"Why do you do that. You know it scares him when you raise your voice" i tell him  
"Oh shut the fuck up Lou. He's not a baby. He needs to learn to listen. He's turning into a brat"  
"No he's not. He's only 4 years old Zayn, you need to stop shouting at all the little mistakes he does"

"Get out of my face" i walk upstairs to see Niall crying in his bed.  
"Awh, Ni... Its okay Papa is here" i hold him and dry his tears away. He falls asleep. And i tuck him in giving him a kiss goodnight.

Going back downstairs, i see Zayn on the couch on his phone.  
"I just ordered a new washer. It should come in a few days"  
"Thanks" i go to sit next to him. It's strange how his mood changes so quickly


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up the next morning. Niall has school today, because the holidays are over.

Zayn's off both his works today. Great. He's laid next to me sleeping peacefully. So calm and cute. Wish he'd stay like that.

I go to Niall's room to see that he's already awake playing with the toys on the floor.  
"Morning big boy. When did you get up?" I ask picking him up and taking him to the bathroom, running the bath water.

"The clock handles was both on same number!" He tells me while i take his clothes off.

"What number. Can you remember?" I sit him in the bath and wash him. "Yeah, it number 7" so he woke up 20 minutes ago.

"My boy is so smart aren't you" his bath was quick and eventually i got him ready and dressed, fed him and walled to his school and i got home at 9:20am.

Zayn likes to sleep in. He's still in bed.  
I get a text for from harry.

Washing's all done, I'll iron them all today x ~ Harry

Thanks, text when all done. We ordered a new washer so hopefully that's the last set you'll have to do x ~ Louis

Better be xx ~ Harry

I hear footsteps make their way down.

I see Zayn, he must of been awake for a bit. He's dressed in a blue top and some plain black jeans.  
He doesn't say anything to me and just walks into his favorite area of the house. The kitchen.

After 10 minutes i smell smoke. Not again.  
I get up from the couch and go to Zayn.

"Seriously. Your smoking a joint, its nearly 10 am. And your doing it in the house. Again" i complain to him but he just continues to roll more up and changes the subject.  
"Washer will be hear probably today or tomorrow"  
I decided to ignore him and drink the coffee i made.

"Babe, I'm going to the gym after dinner" he hands me £40. "That's for food, that you need to go buy. And don't buy the shit you did last time"  
"You mean don't buy actual food. Just buy shit. Okay" I'm annoyed, im not sure why.  
Zayn gives me a glare and grabs his gym bag.

"Im off. Love you" he kisses my cheek and goes out the door before i get a chance to say it back.

....

I've bought the shopping and unloaded it all in the kitchen.  
The washer came as soon as i got home from picking Niall up from school.

Zayn isn't back from the gym and it's now 4pm he can't have gone for around 6 hours...

I've left him a bunch of missed calls and texts, the messages say he's seen them but he's not replying.

Haz texts me saying the clothes are all day ready for me to pick up whenever i want.

I text back saying I'll be at his in 10 minutes.  
Zayn comes busting through the door as I'm tying my laces.  
He looks like a mess. His hair is flat to his head and his gym clothes look like their stuck to his body.

"Im back. Where you heading?" He eyes me and i sit up.  
"Getting the clothes from Harry's house"  
"Come on Niall" i shout for him and he comes from the living room.

"You better not take the piss. Be back in half an hour"

I head to Harry's house with Niall and pick the clothes up.  
"Thank you Haz"  
"No problem. So everything okay?" He asks, washing his dishes.  
"Yeah things have gone good. No bad days" i smile.

I check the clock and realize ive been here 2 hours. Shit. Why are you so stupid Louis.  
And i didn't even bring my phone. Im so stupid.

"Listen, i better get going now... Thanks for the washing again" i hug him.  
I get Niall from Liams room, where they were playing on his new xbox i think it was.

....

"Niall, when we get home i want you to go to your room, okay?" I tell him. He nods happily and we walk through the front door of our house.

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN" Zayn screams, he's changed out of his gym clothes and looks clean. I let go of Nialls hand and he runs to his bedroom. Zayn storms up to me and grabs hold of my biceps tightly. Ouch.  
"ANSWER ME!" He shakes me violently and pushes me hard into the wall.

"Im sorry. I f-forgot to take my phone and lost t-track of time. I was at Harry's" I drop the bag with the clothes onto the floor. Great.

"Oh so you two were fucking once again. What did i tell you. You fucking cheater!" He grabs my hair and slams my head into the wall.  
"NO. We didn't do anything. He's my best friend thats all. I love you Zayn not him" i beg for him to stop banging my head on the wall, but he doesn't listen. He carrys on until i feel my surroundings fade. I begin to fall when he let's go and i fall to the ground banging my head, knocking me out.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up 2 hours later to someone shaking me gently, im still where i was on the floor"  
"Papa?" I look up to Nialls big blue eyes with his tear stained face.  
I sit up quickly and bring him into my arms. "Awh baby, whats wrong?" He looks up at me and frowns.  
"Daddy hurt Papa again?" He shouldn't be experiencing this kind of shit.  
"No baby it was an accident i walked into the wall and Daddy must have not known i was passed out. Wheres your Daddy Niall?"  
Niall ignores my questions and says "Papa you have blood on your head" he points his little finger to my head.

"I'll be alright. I'll clean it up"  
"NIALL! I thought i told you its bedtime. Now get up those stairs now!"  
Looking at the clock i see that the time is 8:45pm.  
"S-sorry Daddy" Niall hugs me and gets up out my lap and walks slowly past Zayn with his head hung low, only to get it slapped. "Stop taking the piss and hurry up" Niall runs to his room and i hear his door slam.

I get up ignoring the pain on my head and get a glass of water.  
"Zayn... I dont want you hurting our son like that again. Hes only 4 years old. He was only checking to see if i was okay, something you clearly failed to do" i give him a glare.

One minute im holding the water, next minute its on the floor, luckily the glass didn't break  
Oh good hes mad now. He knocked the glass out my hand and punched me in the chest.  
I hunch over and he starts hitting my back.

I thought the hits were going to last longer but he dragged me out the kitchen and threw me on the sofa.  
"How dare you think i would purposely hurt my son. I love him Louis. How could you"  
He looks down at me and i look up to him to see his eyes full of tears.  
I feel really guilty now. I stand up only to be pushed down again.  
"B-babe don't cry. I didnt mean to say that" im now crying, all i want is this argument to be over so that we can just cuddle.

"You know what Louis? Just get the fuck out this house" my eyes go wide. No. He's kicking me out. My husband is kicking me out our home.  
"No. Im staying here. Im not going anywhere. Please i love you" i get up again and try to give him a hug but he grabs my jacket that im still wearing and says "Go stay at your best friends house and dont come back until i forgive you" im outside the front door and he spits and slams the door in my face.

...

I dont even have my phone on me. I dont want to bother Harry but i have nowhere else to go, unless i sleep on the streets.  
I decide to make my way to Harry's house and prepare my self for an explanation.

I get to his house and see that both bottom lights are on in the house.  
I knock on the door a little quieter than normally, keeping in mind that Liam is probably in bed by now.

I hear the sound of keys and the door opens and Harry's eyes go wide with worry then rage.  
"LOUIS!" He brings me inside the house and locks the door.

"What the fuck did he do to you" he checks over my body and i give a few whimpers.  
I tell him about what happened and say its all my fault. Because it was.

"Go use the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. You look like a mess" i nod and go to his bathroom and have a quick shower then go to his room and see pajamas on the bed for me.  
I put them on and go back downstairs to see Harry in the kitchen.

"You need to leave him Lou. He's beating you up and slowing hurting Niall. Wait, you left Niall there" shit.  
"He won't hurt Niall. He's not like that" I tell Harry.  
"Yeah, he slapped him on the back of his head which you said"  
"I dont think it was hard, it only looked like a light tap" i lie to him.  
If any of us go back he will hurt both of us and i can't risk him getting angry and locking the door on us.

"He'll be okay Harry. He has a lock in his room so he can lock the door" there is no lock but im just trying to get harry to clam down.  
"Okay but he has school tomorrow so pick him up and bring him here" i nod at his demands. He really cares about Niall, almost more than Zayn does.

"I made you some pasta" he gets the hot bowl from the oven and gives it to me. I nod my head and start to eat it. Im absolutely starving. Good job Niall ate his dinner earlier when we was here.

I finish the pasta and me and Harry just talk about random things.

We make our way to his bedroom. "You sure its okay to sleep in here?"  
"We've been best friends since god knows how long and i dont want you sleeping on the sofa"

I smile and nod my head. Me and Harry get under the cover of the king size bed and he move closer to me putting his arms around me cuddling up to me.

"I love you Louis and dont ever forget that" he tells me and we both fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey... Wake up Lou" Harry tell's me.  
I stretch my body and sit up to see Harry already dressed.  
I made you breakfast, it's keeping warm in the oven, so eat it whenever. Im taking Liam to school in a few minutes so I'll see if Niall's at school too. I better get going" he looks at the time on his phone. He comes towards me and kisses my head. "I'll be back soon, so don't go anywhere. I washed your clothes for you. They're just in the dryer. I'll be back shortly. Bye" and he goes or the bedroom door.

I eat half breakfast he made me which consisted of bacon, toast and eggs. I wash it down with a glass of fresh orange juice and get my clothes out of the dryer and grab Harry's iron and iron them.  
Now fully dressed i wait in the sitting room. I check the time on the TV. Harry will be back any minute now.  
I was correct. Harry came through the door putting his car keys on the coffee table.

"You eat?"  
"Yeah, it was good. Thank you" i thank him.  
"I saw Zayn take Niall to school. I was going to confront him but had second thoughts"  
"Could i use your phone Haz?" I ask politely.  
"Of course you can" he hands me his phone and tells me he's going to clean upstairs.

Zayn's not at work today so i ring him.  
~"Hello?"-Zayn

He doesn't have Harry's number.

"Hey... It's Louis. Please listen before you hang up"-Louis

I rush my words. He doesn't reply so i say-

~"Im so sorry hunny please don't keep me away from you and Niall. I miss you. I love you Zayn, please forgive me. I shouldn't have said that stuff. You were only trying to do what's best for Niall. Please baby, i need you"-Louis

I finish apologizing, now crying.

~Okay Lou, i forgive you. You can come home when you pick Niall up from school. I got a call from work saying they want me to come in at half one, so I'll see you when i get home"-Zayn

~"Okay, I love you"-Louis

~"I love you too"-Zayn

He hangs up and i feel like in a good mood.

I place Harry's phone on the coffee table and sit back on the sofa.

Harry comes back downstairs 40 minutes later.

"Your fast" i tell him.  
"Yeah i know" he laughs.

Ugh how do i tell Harry that Zayn is letting me come back.  
Im pulled out of my thoughts when he asks me "You rang him didn't you? He asks, looking on his phone.  
I just tell him what we talked about.  
Harry just nods sadly.

The rest of the day was a blur. I was excited to see how happy Niall was when i picked him up.

I took him out for ice cream and let him buy a new game for his ds. I let Niall have a happy meal for his dinner and i just have a few fries.

We walk home and i run a bath for Niall. I bathe him and put him in clean pajamas.

Niall is now in bed since it's around 10pm and Zayn comes through the door.

I run up to him and wrap my arms around him and kiss him all over his face a million times. He let's out a cute giggle and kisses my lips.

We continue to make out and get to our bedroom.  
I shut the door, turn around to see Zayn sitting on the bed.  
I walk over to him and sit on his crotch and make out with him slightly grinding on him and soon were both hard.  
We take our clothes off and palm each other.

You can probably all ready guess what happened. But this time it was different he was gentle with me and we cuddled together, falling asleep in each others arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N i was debating with myself on writing the smut, i didn't write it but i will next time probably x


	7. Chapter 7

"Niall! What did i just fucking tell you to do?" Zayn asks a moody Niall.  
"But i don't wanna do that!" He screams at his Daddy.  
I watch the scene standing by the door.  
"For fuck sake. You made the mess with your toys so clean it up, or else"  
"Zayn stop swearing in front of Niall. He'll just copy you and think it's okay" I tell him.  
"No he won't he knows better than to cuss, especially in front of me" Zayn states and glares at Niall.

"Niall pick your toys up" Zayn asks calmly now  
"No."  
"Now Niall"  
"No"  
"Niall!"  
"Papa!" Niall copies Zayn's tone which makes Zayn angry.

Niall's eyes then go wide when Zayn gets up from the sofa and marches to him

I run to Niall before Zayn does and pick Niall up placing him on my hip.

"Louis give me that child. He is so disrespectful and rude"  
"He's 4 years old Zayn your not touching him, he doesn't understand" i hug a scared Niall.

"Yeah when i'm done with him he'll understand" Zayn's fists clench tightly together.

"I think you need to calm down"  
"Don't tell me to calm down Louis. The brat deserves a good belting from all the rudeness and disrespect he's been giving me lately" my eyes wide at the word belting.

"You are not hitting a 4 year old with a belt Zayn i won't let you" Zayn gives me a strange look, he shakes his head then goes upstairs to our bedroom slamming the door to show how pissed off he is.

I sit on the sofa with Niall cuddled up to me.  
"Please Niall behave, i don't want you getting hurt"  
"But Daddy mean to you so i be mean to him" He says in a small voice.  
"No he's not mean to me, he loves me and he loves you and i love you both" i tell him kissing his head.

"I dont like Daddy, why can't you be with Haz?"  
"Niall... Me and Harry are best friends, just like you and Liam are best friends. Im married to your Daddy and that's how it's going to stay" Niall nods sadly and gets up.

"I'll clean toys up and say sowwy to Daddy" and he starts to clean his mess up.  
"Good boy"

...

I must have fallen asleep while Niall was cleaning because i woke up hearing cries.  
"Papa! Help me!" Niall cries for me.  
I run upstairs expecting to see him on the floor because he fell over or something but no... What i saw was Niall crouched down in the corner of mine and Zayn's room and Zayn unbuckling his belt.

"STOP" i run towards Zayn grabbing his arms, him being stronger than me easily slips himself out of my grip and pushes me.  
"Louis if you know what's best i suggest you let me handle our brat of a son" his eyes are darker than usual.  
"I told you that you will never lay a hand on him. Ever"  
"Fine if you wont let me do it, do it yourself!" He puts the belt in my hand and waits for me to get Niall.  
I dont move. "Go on then. Go discipline him"  
"This is not the way to discipline a child Zayn..." I sigh fed up.  
"Niall go to your room" Zayn orders and Niall rushes out of the bedroom into his own.

"Your too easy on him Louis. Maybe your the one who need a belting" he snatches the belt out of my hand and grips onto my ear.  
"Zayn stop!" His grip on my ear tightens.  
"You don't want Niall to get disciplined so now you will. Put your hands on the wall" he orders me.  
I shake my head no and stand still.  
"If you dont do as i say... I'll fucking beat you, then Niall when your unconscious" this makes me stand against the wall putting my hands on it.  
'Im doing this for Niall so he doesn't get hurt' i tell myself.  
Zayn waste no time on raining the smacks onto the whole of the back of my body, mostly hitting my back.

I scream in pain he doesn't stop. I feel like hes been doing it for 10 minutes. He doesn't have a break but he stops for a moment. I think to myself 'Finally' but i was wrong. I feel the buckle of the belt hit my shoulder and i scream in agony. I still have my clothes on but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

He eventually stops when i fall to the floor shaking violently.  
"Get up. Your pathetic and useless. You can't even look after our child. Now get the fuck up!" I try my hardest to get up but keep falling back down.  
"I-I can't g-get up" i sob.  
He lifts me up not even gently and takes me into the bathroom.

"Clean yourself up, im going to make food for us" i only nod and do as he says.  
With lots of effort i manage to take a quick shower i notice some blood rinses off my skin.

I dry myself carefully and use a hand mirror and the mirror on the wall to look at my back.  
My ass is all bruised my legs are red and you can see the belt marks. My back has a few cuts and is painfully swollen. I get the cream for them cabinet and rub it on the best as i can i the places it hurts.

I walk out the bathroom with my towel around my waist.  
I walk across to the bedroom and stop when i hear a quiet "Papa" i turn around and see Niall stood there in horror. He must have seen my back.

"Im sowwy. Im so sowwy im bad" he then goes to his room and cries.  
I quickly put a lose burgundy top on and grey sweatpants and go to Nialls room.

Opening the door, Niall is laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling tears falling out his eyes.  
"Hey Ni. It alright ive got you" i cuddle up to him ignoring the shooting pain from my back.

"Its my fault Papa"  
"Oh baby its nobody fault" i wipe his tears away.  
"Daddy still love me?"  
"Of course he does he loves you more than anything your his big boy" Niall smiles at me then the smile leaves his face when he looks at me.  
"Your back Papa..."  
"Im okay now everything's good now. I promise"  
He nods his head and curls up to me.

...

Im gently awoken by Zayn half an hour later.  
"Hey babe, im so sorry i love you, forgive me?" He kisses my lips and i kiss back.  
"I forgive you, im sorry Zayn"  
"Daddy im sowwy"  
Zayn lifts Niall in his arms and hugs him.  
"It okay big boy. Come on i made food for all of us"

Well the rest of the evening was spent cuddling up watching films with Niall.  
And when me and Zayn went to bed he gave me a massage and told me how much he loves me and Niall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N i kinda rushed the ending there sorry x


	8. Chapter 8

"What flavour would you like big boy?" Zayn asked Niall who was being spolied by him at the moment.  
I love family days like this. No bullshit happening and well were just normal.

"Stwar-burry pweze" Niall answers with his mouth full of chips and sauce.  
"Alright buddy... Lou, you want ice cream?" He asks me, i simply shake my head no and take Niall's now empty cone of chips that Zayn bought him from the fish and chip shop and put it into the bin.

He orders the ice cream for Niall.  
We all walk happily along the path that has a little sand on. Mine and Zayns hands linked together and Niall a little in front of us happily skipping eating the ice cream.

We get to the beach, we find a spot thats not too close to the sea. I wipe Nialls messy face and sticky hand with a baby wipe.  
"Heres your bucket and spade. Dont go wondering off" Zayn hands him the stuff and Niall goes to build sandcastles.

We both just sit together just watching everyone around us. We are a normal couple. Doing normal things. Like a normal family.

"Something on your mind love" he takes me out of my thoughts. I take my sunglasses off and he brushes my fringe out of my eyes.  
"Just thinking about how much i love Niall and you and everything is perfect" he shuffles closer to me and snakes his arm around me and pulls me close to him.

"I love you both so much" he kisses me lightly.  
"Ewwy that gross" Niall laughs and Zayn gets up.  
"Lets bulid a big castle while Papa goes and gets drinks" they both go off to where Niall was before and i stand up brushing the sand off me just as im about to walk Zayn shouts out to me "Orange juice and a pint for me please"  
I walk up to the bar. The weather is quite good today even if its only April but might as well make the most of it.

"Yeah could i get orange juice... A cocktail and a pint of larger please" i pay and manage to carry the drinks back to where i left.  
"Thanks babe" Zayn guzzles half of it down and burps loudly making Niall giggle and copy his daddy.  
"You two are gross" i laugh and sip on my drink.

"Look what Daddy made, Papa" i put my drink down and Niall drags me to the sandcastles.  
There are sandcastles in the shape of a loveheart and in the middle it says 'I love you. Always' with an infinite sign drawn below it.

I smile and hug Zayn he pecks my lips and i get my camera out to take a picture of it.  
...  
"Love you NiNi, be good for your Nana. Bye"

We leave Niall at my mums house and me and Zayn go to a restaurant.

He gives me little bites of his food and i do the same. Sipping on my wine i feel my phone buzzing in my pocket.

~Hello?- Louis  
~Papa!-Niall  
~Hey little man. You okay?-Louis  
~Ya im good. Just sayin night night 'cos bedtime now-Niall  
~Alright, you have a nice sleep and we'll see you when we pick you up. Okay?-Louis  
~Otay, night night. Tell Daddy i say gnite.  
~I will baby, goodnight i love you-Louis

"Niall said goodnight"  
"Awh you should have let me speak to him"

Our dinner finishes off with cheesecake and we walk to a little shop.

"They have the best chocolate covered strawberries here and im dying to feed you them. And then kiss you"  
We go into the shop and Zayn buys them.  
We get a taxi home and go inside the living room.

While im upstairs getting changed, Zayn switches the tv on putting on a romantic film.

Zayn quickly changes and brings our duvet down and we sunggle up under the covers.  
The movie ends and we cuddle in silence just enjoying each others company.

He grabs the chocolate covered strawberries and puts one to my mouth.  
He puts it to my lips and draws to chocolate on my lips as if it was lipstick.  
I open my mouth and take a bite of the strawberry.

"It tastes delicious"  
"I bet it does, but nothing would taste better than you covered in chocolate"  
His face leans closer to mine and he kisses my chocolate lips and slides his tongue into my mouth.

We kiss for god knows how long and feed each other the rest of the strawberries.

Finishing them, Zayn holds me protectively in his arms and sings quietly.

"So you can keep me...  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans...  
Holding me closer til our eyes meet...  
You won't ever be alone.

And if you hurt me..  
That's okay baby, only words bleed...  
Inside these pages you just hold me...  
And i won't ever let you go"

This is the Zayn i knew and fell in love with.   
Its like were 18 again. I love this Zayn so much.


	9. Chapter 9

"Harry I can't speak right now I have to go, okay, bye" I hung up the phone. Harrys been asking if things are okay and I've told him the truth things are going good. Every time I go pick Niall up from school he comes up to me and asks how are things it's getting annoying actually.   
"Papa! Me and Daddy are going to get popcorn!"  
"I'm going to get us a movie that we can all watch and cuddle up to" Zayn smiles and holds Niall's hand making their way out.

While they're gone I clean up as much as I can before they get back and put lots of blankets and pillows on the couch.

They come back 20 minutes later and we watch 'The Amazing Spiderman' eating popcorn and drinking.

Niall cuddles up to Zayn and I hear him mumble out a quiet "I love you"

...  
Things were going great. No fights no shouting or anything. We have all been happy for the past couple of weeks but I guess I was wrong, I knew it wasn't going to last.

"Yes... Yes... Okay... No it's fine. I completely understand why you have to do this. Yeah I'm sure. No I already am working somewhere else. It's okay. Thank you. Have a good day... ASSHOLE!"  
Zayn got a phone call this morning and I was secretly listening in on the conversation. Apparently he was made redundant. He must of said asshole when he cut off.  
Niall's at school and I'm in the kitchen. I sit back down at the table and resume my scrolling through Facebook and listen to the pacing footsteps of my husband outside the other door. They get shorter and faster and then I hear a thud and the piercing sound of glass smashing into the floor.  
Leaving my phone on the table I open the door to the sitting room and see a red faced Zayn with his hands clenched and his knuckles turning white.  
I look at the glass on the floor and go grab the dustpan and brush to clean it up.

Zayns still in the same spot but his face less red. Finally finished cleaning it up I go over to him and sit him on the couch.  
I sit next to him and smoothly rub my hand on his leg and gently stroke the top of his hand affectionately.

"what's up?" he shakes his head giving me the biggest sigh I've ever heard.  
"got made redundant from that restaurant as a waiter"  
"you still have your other job" I remind him.  
"I made more money as a waiter and that other job I have is shit and I don't even get paid half of the other. Im going to have to look for another job" he sighs and I just sit there.

"I'll get a job. We both know I have qualifications and maybe I can get a job with a decent pay" Zayn shakes his head no and stands up.  
"I'm the man of this house so I need to provide for our family you need to stay here and be a housewife or whatever they call them. I don't need you to provide when I can do it myself"  
My blood boils, why does he put me down like this. I don't want to be a housewife, was he saying I'm not a man because he's 'the man' of this house.

"Are you trying to make it look like I'm not good enough?" I ask him letting him know I'm pissed off.

"well you didn't seem to do a good job at the last job you had, always late... Not being able to do a simple task" I stand up as I listen to him.

"WELL OF COUSRE I COULDN'T. I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD"  
"even if you tried now you'd still be a useless bitch" I saw red and slapped Zayn across the face out of anger.

My hand stayed in the air and I froze. Why the heck did I do that. Oh my god.  
Zayn turns his head slowly and his dark eyes come back. The dark side of him making a visit again.

"Your gonna regret that" he states and walks out the door with the keys, his phone and jacket.

What have I done? Things were going fine... This is all my fault.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't edited this chapter. Sorry for any mistakes.

'your gonna regret that' is all that replays through my mind. Why do I always ruin things? Why am I such a useless person? Why am I a shitty husband? Why am I a terrible father to our son Niall?  
Poor Niall having to live through this shit. Shit Niall, I forgot to pick him up from school 45 minutes ago. I'm a crap father I'm so fucking done.

I get a phone call from Niall's school saying he's in the after school club. When I eventually pick Niall up he's crying and asking me to pick him up.  
"Shhh it's okay I'm here now Ni. I was just a little late that's all I promise I'll be on time next time. Please stop crying" he was still crying while i carried him home but calmed down once we got to the house.

"cmon lets get you changed and you can watch whatever you want on tv" "spongebob" "yes you can watch spongebob"  
After sorting Niall out in clean clothes I sit with him on the couch just relaxing. We both fall asleep but I'm woken up by my phone.

"hello?" I didn't even look to see who it was.   
"hey it's Harry"  
"Oh... hey, how's you?"  
"I'm great thanks, is this a good time? You sound tired"  
"oh I just woke up before you called that's all"  
"Ahh okay. So I was wondering if I could come over with Liam... Liam tells me that Niall's been drifting away from him and doesn't want to play with him. Is he okay?"  
"yeah he's good. I don't know what's up with him and Liam. Hopefully they'll go back to being best buddies anytime soon. And sure you can come over whenever"  
"I'll bring food. I'll be there in 20 love ya bye"  
"love you too mate seeya soon"

So harry and Liam are coming over and Zayn is out. Great. I better text him that Haz is coming over though... Too late he's walking through the front door right now.  
"Um Zee just letting you know that Harry is coming over with Liam and he's bringing food..." his face went red then he said "whatever I don't care. If you fuck don't forget to use a condom" then he walked upstairs "and save me some of the food!" he shouted and slammed our bedroom door shut.

An hour later, and Harrys already here we ate the food and I saved some for Zayn. Liam and Niall quietly playing together and me and Harry talking about grown up shit.  
"You can't be for real" Harry says sipping on his wine.  
"well it is for real Haz, I could easily get a job but hes under the impression that I'm not good enough for work and I should stay at home and be a 'housewife'" I tell him.  
"You can't let him tell you your not allowed to work. Fuck sake Lou you can't let him control you forever".  
"he's not controlling me whatsoever"  
"Who's controlling who? What are you two talking about" Zayn is standing behind the couch and moves around to sit next to me and pulls me onto his lap"

"The perfect married couple" Harry says through gritted teeth.  
Zayn glares at him but doesn't say anything.  
"been awhile hasn't it... Since we last talked" he gives a fake smile to Harry who returns it back.  
"yep" Zayn cuts it short "well I'm off out. Leave you ladies to catch up" Zayn turns my head and slides his tongue in my mouth, he deepens the kiss and I think Harry is getting uncomfortable. Harry coughs and Zayn  pulls away from our make out session then stands us both up. While were standing Zayn rest his hand on my lower back. His hand slowly making it's way to my ass. He gives it a hard squeeze making me squeal like a mouse. "bye baby" he slaps my it and goes to Niall and hugs him. He goes to put his shoes and jacket on then leaves through the front door.

Harry huffs loudly crossing his arms over his chest. "Rude" he mutters out. I laugh at him and sit back down.  
"Why's he got a red handprint on his cheek?"  
"I dunno..."  
"Well whatever happened he probably deserved it anyway" Harry tell me.  
"Why are you always so cold with Zayn?" I ask him. I've never asked him why him and Zayn seem to never get along.  
Harry raises his eyebrow and gives me a look to say 'seriously'.  
"What do you mean?" he looks offended... I only asked him a question.  
"Well it's like you never seem to get along and I'm just in the middle of it all"  
"You know how much of a dick he is to me"  
"You know just because your my best friend doesn't mean I'm okay with you calling my husband names and saying he's a piece of shit all the time" Harry puts his glass down and sits up "And your my best friend Lou, so it doesn't mean I'm okay when your amazing husband fucking kicks you out your house or when he leave you with bruises and shit.  Well I'm sorry for saying the truth. He's a piece of shit. Why are you still with him? Oh yeah because he's so gentle and sweet and kind. He treats you like a prince, so fucking true Louis. Open your god damn eyes before he throws you off a fucking cliff while your not watching" he seems angry.  
Wow. I can't believe Harry said that. Yes some of it's true Zayn can be a dick but when he's not he's the most amazing husband you can get and I'm lucky to be with him Zayn said so himself. Maybe Zayn is right... Harry is jealous that me and Zayn are married.

"I think you should leave Harry" I don't want to start an argument while the kids are here. Harry looks at me and laughs? The fuck he laughing for? Oh yeah... he's tipsy I forgot about the wine we had. Well Harry supped most of it.  
"Louis! Your just going to ignore everything aren't you. Man the fuck up and face the shit your going through"  
I'm surprised I'm still calm and not shouting at him.

"Just leave" I tell him for the last time a little fed up. After 10 Minutes of him trying to change the subject he finally leaves with Liam and I'm left with a fed up Niall resting against me and my fed up self waiting for Zayn to come home.

After two hours Nialls in bed and I'm just sprawled out on my bed in deep thought. I didn't even hear Zayn come through the door, and heat up the Chinese that I saved for  him. It was only when he came into our bedroom I noticed him.

"We need to have a chat" he shuts the door and makes his way towards me.


	11. Chapter 11

I sit up against our bed holding a pillow to my chest.  
Zayn sits crossed legged in the middle of the bed and begins to speak.

"I don't know if i can do this anymore"  
What does he mean, is it me? Of course it is... Im ruining his life!

"Its me isn't it? Please don't leave me i love you" i beg.  
He doesn't say anything, only scratches his head a few times.

"Look i just don't think i can handle the stress im going through right now, with the job, the bills stuff like that"

"I can do it for you. I'm here for you. I understand, you just need a break from things" i stop hugging my pillow and lean closer to him and take his hand in mine.

"I can get a job so you can quit that other one, i promise we can make this work" he nods and moves his body to mine and cuddles up to me.  
"Thank you Louis for being understanding" i simply nods and start to drift off.  
...

Its been a month since Zayn left work. And ive become a full time mummy and worker. And all Zayn does is sit in the kitchen all day and smoke.

Im really trying to get him to stop but hes having none if it. He threatens to punch me if i bring up again.

"Where's my stash?!" He shouts from the kitchen. Im in the sitting room with Niall and hes fallen asleep on me.

I just ignore him and pretend to be asleep.

"Louis? Louis!" He shouts and stomps in the room like a moody teen.

"Louis. Wake up" i pretend to wake up and stretch.

"Whats up?"

"Where is it?" He asks

"Wheres what?"

"You know what im talking about. My weed Louis. Where the hell did you put it?"

"I don't know. And please keep your voice down. Niall's asleep right here"

"Tell me where you put it or i swear ill do something" he cracks his knuckles.

"Fine" i carefully get up off the couch not to wake Niall up and go to the bedroom and he follows me.

I shut the door and brace myself.

"I threw it"

"What?"

"Its in the bin"

"Louis! What the fuck. That cost me over £70 for all that. And now its in the bin because of your stupid brain"

I take a step back from him as he comes towards me.

"Give me it"

"I told you i threw it"

"Your lying to me. I know when you lie, you rub your hands together and blink alot"

Oops.

I go to the wardrobe and get the box and hand it to him.

"See it wasnt that hard was it. Oh and-" he kicks me in the balls.

"Dont lie to me again you stupid cunt" and he walks down to his 'get high' place.

...

Why do i even bother. One minute he loves me next minute he hates me.

I drop Niall at school and see Harry, who i haven't seen since our fall out but he tried talking to me over text but i just ignore him.

"Hey... Louis" he gives me a small smile but frowns at the bruise on my jaw.

"Are you busy today? I would really like to talk things through"

Well i do now have a job.

"Well i start work in-" i check the time "- about 20 minutes so i better get going but i finish at 2:15 so maybe text me around then?" I suggest. I have work later today anyway.

"Alright you text me when your out and ill ring you"

I nod and we say bye. I literally run to work and make it just in time.

I text Harry when my shift is over and he find me and we arrange to meet at Costa.

I order our favorite drinks and wait for him to arrive.  
He comes only two minutes after I've sat down and thanks me for the drink.

"Louis im so sorry"  
Okay i forgive easily...

"I forgive you and I'm sorry too"

We chat about my new job and stuff and when the time is around 3 we set of in Harrys car to Niall and Liam's school

"Hi Lou!" Liam hugs me. I hug back.

"It was nice catching up" i smile to him he does the same.

...

Its 4:50 and Zayn was supposed to be home from the gym 20 minutes ago.  
I've sent him so many texts and missed calls.

Half an hour later Zayn comes through the door drunk as hell.

"Niall go upstairs and pack an over night bag please" Niall does what i say and i (try to) handle Zayn but his temper is getting the best out of him.

I sit him on the couch and start asking "where the hell were you!? Im supposed to be at work in 10 minute's and it will take me ages to walk!"

"Calmmnn down Lewissss"  
I cringe at that name.

"Papa?..." I hear Nialls small voice come from the door.

"Ni, just wait in the kitchen, yeah? I wont be long"

He rushes past me and Zayn into the kitchen with his bag.

"Zayn please just go to bed and sober the fuck up" im getting really frustrated now.

"Cum wid meh louu" i help him up the stairs to our bed. Im not even gonna bother helping him.

"God Louuu, suck me off im so horny right now"

"No im taking Niall to Harrys and going to work. Someone has to pay for things around here and i see your not helping by getting pissed nearly every night"

He wobbles over to me in his drunken state. I dont even think he listened to a word i said.

He grabs hold of my now messy hair and forces me on my knees.

"Unbuttoonn it and suck ittt"

Im not doing this. I will not do this.

I force his hands off me easily and push him on the bed.

"Sum one wants tooo bee fucked ahh see" he groans.

"No. You will listen to me Zayn Malik. I am not sucking you off. We're not have sex. You WILL listen to me. You WILL go to sleep and fucking sober up you fucking bastard. You're a fucking joke and a pathetic person. You are scum" he grabs my waist and tries to palm me

"Are you even listening" i push him hard on the bed.

"Nothin you saayy lou will changee how i feell towardss you. Your a fucking uselesssss cunt. I could have whooo ever i fucking wanted but i stayed with you and married you and had that fucking accident downstairs with you. Your a fat cow lou and nobody else is gunna tell you dat.  
I love you but you are a fucking piece of work. Now get a fucking grip of yourself. Nobody a d i mean no one tells me what to do especially my fat pathetic husband."

Ive heard so much shit come out of his mouth but never has he said Niall was an accident.  
He probably doesn't know what hes saying baring in mind of his drunken state.  
Dont take him serious Louis...

I dont wanna argue no more so i walk out the bedroom, run downstairs, quickly slip on my jacket and shoes and drop Niall at Harrys house who said i can pick him up whenever.

I go to work half an hour late but i dont care. I feel numb. I dont even feel like i can eat im such a cow. Hes right. Zayns always right. Was Niall an accident.  
No stop thinking like that Lou.

I love him and hes mine and thats all that matters.

I finish work at 1am. I decided to work extra because 1. I need cash and 2. I really didn't want to go home.

I text harry another thank you for letting Niall stay.

I walk the long boring way home and just think of every worse case scenario that could happen when i step through the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Im not saying i don't love Zayn because i do. I love him to bits but i dont like him very much at the moment.

I walked home like i said and opened the door.

Im currently shattered and starving. But im not going to bother eating. Whats the point?

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. He must of heard me.

"What happened?" He asks me. I shrug my shoulders and get a glass of water for myself.

He asks me a few other questions like where ive been and where Niall is, he doesnt seem to care. I give him one worded answers.

"Whats wrong with you. You look like a zombie. Hello?" He waves his hands in my face to get my attention.

"Oh fuck off" i stand up and go into the room. He follows me shaking his head mumbling something like "rude twat"

I sit down and cuddle myself up a fluffy blanket.

"'M sorry babe" he tells me like he does every time im like this.

"Shut up... Just go away" i bring the blanket over my head. I feel his presence move towards me and he squats down so his face is just above mine.

He brings back the blanket and almost cries himself when he sees my face full of tears.

"Is this how you're going to be Louis because i hate this life im living. I hate that were not getting along and you just ignore me"

Back up. Im ignoring him?  
I dont even have the energy to cry so i just lay there and dont even reply to him.

"Lou" he shakes me. He kisses my head and says "fine" and walks up to bed leaving me.

Whats wrong with me. He was trying to be nice and i was just being a dick.  
Why can i not cry? I want to but i cant let it out.

This is horrible i just pushed Zayn away from me when all he was trying to do is be nice.

No wonder i piss him off so much he hits me.

...

I wake up the next day to a sore back. The sofa isn't that comfortable to sleep on.

I stand up and stretch.

Grabbing my phone i look at it to find out its two o'clock and that I'm late for work.

I really dont wanna go into day so i ring them up saying i wont be able to come in today. They say its fine and let me off.

I look at my messages to see that harry texted me

'Text me. Im worried about u' - Harry

I text back with a 'I'm okay' and will pick Niall up after school myself.

He sends an emoji with a kissy face.

I turn around and jump out my skin when i see Zayn sat on the sofa.

"Shit Zayn you scared me"  
"Sorry, love. I can't help being invisible to you all the time"

I roll my eyes not even wanting to start an argument.

...

Zayn goes to pick Niall up with me. He forces me to hold his hand while we walk.

"Get off" i try pull my hand away from him as we walk down the road.

"Fine. You're ashamed of holding your own husbands hand. I get it"

I feel guilty now, so i hold his hand and he smiles.

We get to the school and i watch Niall run out of the school with Liam and they run to Harry.

He must of thought he was staying with Harry again.

"Where is he?" Zayn looks up from his phone and puts it in his pocket.

"Dont get mad. He went to harry. I dont think Ni knows were here"

I feel Zayns hand tighten around mine.

We walk over to them. Niall smiling and laughing but when he sees me and Zayn he stops smiling and looks sad.

"Hey Ni. Me and Daddy came to pick you up" i hold my hand out for him to grab it but he just stands still next to Harry.

Niall looks up at Harry back at me 10 times. Its like he trying to make up his mind.

I watch him take a hold of Harry's hand.

"Niall come on we dont have all day" Zayn says. Niall shakes his head holding onto Harry who looks lost and doesnt know what to do.

"Ni... Your Daddy and Papa are here. You get to go home now with them" harry smiles trying to be cheery but Niall just hides his face in harrys coat.

Zayn lets go of my hand which im thankful for and i rub it.

He moves closer to Niall and goes down to Niall's height.

I can tell Zayn is mad and having a hard time at keeping it calm through that scary smile hes pulling.

He rests his hand on Nialls shoulder who flinches as soon as he makes contact.

"Niall" Zayn starts. "I dont want to wait all day. I swear if you don't come now I'll drag you" he threatens sternly.

Niall looks back up at Harry who feels very sorry.

"Haz... Please don't make Ni go with Daddy and Pa..." He pleas in a small sad voice to harry.

Harry runs his hand through his hair.  
"Im sorry little man but you have to do what your parents tell you"

Niall starts to cry. I go over to him and try to hug him but he pushes me away and buries himself into Harry's coat.

I want to cry. My own son doesn't want to be with me.

A few parents stare at us so Zayn glares at them.

"Why dont we all go to mine and sort this out. I have my car" harry suggests.

Zayn agrees surprisingly. Harry picks Niall up who hides his face. Liam holds my hand confused but doesnt really seem to bother.

We get in harrys car. Harry drives, Zayn sits in the front and i sit in the back with the kids.

Only Liam and me seem to talk about his day at school.

We get to Harrys house and go inside.

"Liam could you go upstairs please" liam nods and goes upstairs without a fuss.

"Niall. Why dont you want to come home with me and Papa?"

"You scary daddy. I no like it" Niall whimpers next to Harry.

Zayns face goes red and bites his inner cheek to stop himself from shouting.

"How about we all stay here and then go later. Stay an hour" i suggest looking at harry who nods.

Zayn shakes his head mumbles "fuck this" and stomps out the door.  
I don't bother going after him, just in case.

"Niall please... You dont live here and me and Daddy want you home" Niall doesn't look at me.

"Its okay Lou. He can stay here if its okay" i nod and go to kiss Niall goodbye.

...

I walked home and Zayn was in the house smoking a joint.

"I see you haven't brought him back"

I sigh. No wonder Niall didnt want to come back here. The place looks like a dump and reeks of smoke.

"When are you going to get a job?" I ask. He shrugs his shoulders.

"You know... I can't live like this. You're my husband. Your MY fucking husband Zayn. What happened to you. You seem to not care about anything. You don't care about whether or not we lose this shitty flat. You don't seem to care about Niall, he flinched when you touched him. Wait... Have you touched Niall?"

He puts his joint out and stands up.

He comes towards me trying to be scary but i wont let my guard down.

He points his finger at my chest and prods at it hard.  
"How. Dare. You. Think i would touch my OWN child in anyway. Your mental Louis please go get professional help for gods sake"

Oh so im the crazy one now?

I grab his hand and push it off my chest.

"Get fucked Zayn. You did something to Niall didn't you? You sick creep"

His eye go wide with rage and before i know it I've been pushed on the floor with all his strength.

"You think i would hurt our son? My own blood and flesh? You think i would hurt him? Hes my child and i will do everything to protect him from crazy people like you, Tomlinson"

"Oh im Tomlinson now. HES MINE TOO I CARRIED HIM. I GAVE BIRTH TO HIM" i try to get back up but he pushes me back down and kicks my back.

"Why do you make me do this Tomlinson? If you could just fucking give me a break and not accuse me of hurting Niall"  
His kicking gets harder and harder. Im soon coughing up blood but he doesnt seem to care.

He stops kicking me leaving me to just cry in pain.  
He tells me to stop crying and starts to choke me. I feel dizzy but he lets go before i pass out.

I dont even notice the kettle being filled and boiled when he moves away.

He rags my clothing off so im fully naked on the cold dirty kitchen floor.

He takes his trousers off but i dont notice. I feel to out of it to notice whats going on.

He holds my head up back my hair and shoves his cock in my mouth. I choke on it but he carries on fucking my dry throat.

Finally letting go of my hair and throwing me on to my back. I scream in pain when he begins fucking me in the ass dry.

I block everything out, his grunts and moans, my screaming and crying, the raging pain.

He cums inside me and buttons himself back up before grabbing the boiling hot kettle full of steaming hot water.

"You just had to be like that didn't you. You're nothing but a worthless fat cow to me. Please die Louis just get the fuck gone. You've ruined my life. I could've been with whoever i wanted but my dumb stupid ass had to stay with you. I absolutely hate you. Just die" Zayn shouted then he pours all of the boiling water onto my back.

I scream the loudest i ever have. Ive never felt this kind of pain before. Its like a million hot knives slashing my skin. He begins to beat me with the kettle making sure he gets my face, arms, chest and legs.

I end up passing out from the pain.

It doesn't take long for Zayn to come back to his senses and regret what hes done.

At first he stands and freezes and drops the kettle on the floor.  
Staring at my fragile burnt, blistered bony back.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Oh my God. Ive gone way to far. Oh no" he panics to himself.

He doesnt know what to do.

Zayn slowly bends down and feels my pulse going slower and slower.

He cries to himself for a good minute before standing up and moving away from me terrified.

Im going to die if he doesn't do something right now.

Not like i care. Death sounds appealing right this second.


	13. Chapter 13

My eyes flutter open but i quickly put my hand over them to block out the bright lights in the hospital room.  
After a few minutes of confusion i snap back into reality and sit up panicking. Looking around the room i notice a familiar face. Harry.

"Oh my gosh Lou! Your awake. Ive been so worried" he cries and hugs me. I wince in pain as he tightenes the hug but he quckily let go when he noticed my discomfort.

"Oh gosh im so sorry" he sits back in his big comfy looking chair next to my bed.

Harry calls for the nurse telling her ive woken up. She does a few checks, changes the banges as well as rubbing this cooling cream on me then leaves to go find the doctor.

"Haz... Where's Niall? What happened to Liam? Where are they? Zayn... Um where is he?"

"Louis, Niall is safe its okay. Him and Liam are with Gem so shes looking after them"

"Oh good... What about Zayn?"

Harry looks away when i mention his name.

"He's done a runner"

"No..." im shocked he can't. He wouldn't just leave me like this.

"Yeah he called me crying on the phone. Told me you were dead so i rang an ambulance and they said that there was only you in the house. Zayn did this to you didn't he? He deserves to be in prison the low life bastard"

I get defensive. What right does Harry have have to say that about my husband.

"Look, he didnt mean it. I basically asked for it. I knew i had it coming okay? So please just shut up Haz he's my husband and i love him"

"You still love your abusive husband that beats you and is starting to abuse Niall your son! You are brainwashed Lou. He's no good. Its not right nor is it normal to beat your loved one. Its crule and disgusting. He makes me sick from whats he's done to you" Harrys eyes suddenly go wide as he thinks to himself. A sudden realisation hits him, he lifts his head up with teary eyes.

"This is my fault" he cries in a small voice.

"I knew about it but never did anything. Fuck you could've died Louis! That bastard could've killed you. I should've told the police or something the first time he ever laid a hand on you. Im so sorry, babe im so sorry, love. I love you so much Louis i promise I'll never let anything like this happen. Your my bestfriend and i should of been looking out for you. But i didn't. And look where it's landed you. In hospital. Im such a horrible friend, Lou, please forgive me"  
Harry just breaks down crying on the floor holding my hand and kissing it.

Ive never seen harry like this, hes usually the strong one. I tell him I forgive him and it's not his fault. Its mine.

"Haz i love you too" he hugs me gently and we stay like that for a few minutes before pulling away he holds a kiss onto my lips but i dont pull away i let him kiss me.

"S-sorry.." He sits back on his chair wiping away a few stray tears and looking at his lap with a red face. Its not the first time harry has kissed me. We actually dated ONCE but it didnt work.

"Hey its okay. Your my best friend" i reach out to stroke his hair and he leans into the touch.

.  
.  
.

"Paps? You sicky?"  
"Yeah baby boy i am"  
"Did daddy make you sicky?" He whispers into the phone. I run a hand through my hair and take a deep breath to stop me from breaking down. I pretend i didnt hear his question and cahnge the subject quickly.

"How about when Papa's all better, me 'nd you ... Go to the em... The zoo. Yeah the zoo. You can see the penguin's! giraffe! Lions! How does that sound baby boy?"  
"Haz and Leelee come too?" He cheers happily.  
"Of course they can. Whatever you want. Im gonna get better just for you. I promise"  
"Otay. Gem is taking me and Lee to parks so gotta go now. Love ya papa."  
"I love you too baby, have fun, seeya love"

I end the call with Niall and sit back on my sore back.  
Niall asked about Zayn's whereabouts so i lied saying he was at home.

I really dont know where he could be. He has friends, i only know 2 of them. I think thier names are Shahid and Sam. Something like that. I actually have their numbers.

"Harry?" I need a distraction. I want Zayn but Harry will literally kill him.

"You wouldn't mind going to the café and getting a coffee for us please"

"Sure, of course. Im gettting you some proper food too. You didn't touch your lunch at all. I'll grab us fish and chips from the shop across the street how does that sound?"  
I nod. This will give me plenty of time to contact them.

He leaves and i sit up, holding the tears in as i get out of bed, feel my back tearing apart and blood running down the more i move.

"Shit" i curse and literally waddle over to the other side of my small room and grab my phone, where Harry placed it after i kept ringing Zayn's number but it just went to voicemail.

I ring Sam first and it takes 4 rings til he picks up.

"Yo" he coughs out.

"Um.... Hi. This is Louis... You're a friend of my husband Zayn right?"

"Yup, he needing more gear? Or you needing mate? Got some right good shit if you wanting to meet up and have a sample matey"

"Im not calling for drugs" i sigh angrily.  
"Do you know where Zayn is"

"Brooo how should i know."

I tell him to call if he hears from Zayn (i doubt he will) and hang up the phone and call.

I ring Shahid's number and he picks up straight away.

"Hello?"

"Um hi um. This is Louis if you even remember me"

"Oh yeah i know you... Zayn's fuck buddy aren't you?" He sniggers down the line.

I purse my lips together and breathe heavily through my nose.

Fuck buddy? What the fuck! No Louis... Nows not the time to argue back. Calm. 

"Fuck buddy? No im his husband remember? You came to the wedding i believe. Asshole" i whisper the last bit losing my temper a little. Oops

"Oh yeah yeah, course how could i forget, sorry"

He doesn't sound sorry.

"Look i didn't ring to chat. I just wanted to know if you have seen or heard from Zayn? Do you know where he is?"

"Why whats he done? Whats going on?" The nosey bastard asks.

"Just fucking tell me if you know okay. Please for goodness sake, call or text if you hear from him goddammit!"

"Woah chill out ya looney" and he cuts me off before i say anything else.

I cry. I just want to know where he is! I want him to hold me. Tell me he loves me so we can go back to normal.

.  
.  
.

Harry came back with the food. I ate all of it so Harry wouldn't get worried.

Its arounds 3am when i wake up from the nurse doing my checks.

Im wide awake now and Harry wakes up. I can't believe he's still here.

"Hey you alright. Do you need the nurse?"

"Im good. Shes just been to do checks"

"Oh... well you should get more sleep you look so tired Lou"

"Yeah okay I'll try" i lay back down gently.

"Why are you still here Haz?"

"Because i want to be here for you. I worry. I dont want you to be alone s'all" he yawns.

"What about Liam? Im sure he misses you. You have a kid to look after ya'know"

"Lou... He's fine. He's with my sister and Niall, so he's probably getting spoilt rotten" he laughs.

"No but still... Nevermind"

We leave the conversation at that and both fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want me to continue with this, please comment because i feel like deleting the whole story. I have the other chapter ready but i dont know if i will post or just delete.


	14. Chapter 14

I've been in hospital for 9 days now, ive asked to be discharged and tried to leave myself but they won't let me!Also, ive had no calls from Zayn or those two little fuckers i spoke to on the phone. Ive been trying everyday but had no luck.

I persuaded Harry to go back home after his rough 4th night sleeping on that chair. Liam cried on the phone earlier wanting him that day, so now hes at home with Ni and Liam.

I've called Niall every morning and night, we also face timed a few times.  
He doesn't want to visit and im okay with it. Im glad he doesn't want to see his useless beaten up father in hospital. Who would?

My back feels sore but i can manage.

I just wanna leave this place, its driving me crazy. Checks every half hour, the gross food, the horrible hospital bed. I just wanna go home.

I called back Shahid and Sam but they don't seem to care. I asked if they have any more numbers of Zayns other friends but they said no. I dont believe them.

Later, the nurse comes in but not to do checks. She comes in with a man holding a big file and a notepad.

"Mr Ma-"  
"Just Louis please" i cut her off annoyed.

"This is doctor Felix Payne hes a psychiatrist" the nurse introduces me to the tall larger man, he looks to be in his 50's possibly 60's i think. What can i say? He's old s'all.

"Nice to meet you Doctor Payne" i fake smile at him.

"Hello Louis. I've heard how you're doing and that you'd like to be discharged from hospital"  
My eyes light up at the mention of leaving.

"Unfortunately, we cant let you leave until you give us some details of how your injuries happened. The nurses that have cared for you are very concerned about you and your safety" the nurse leaves to give us privacy to talk.

"I don't have to tell you anything. You cant keep me here" i slam my hands down on the bed in frustration.

"I understand how you must be feeling-"

"No you don't!" i interrupt him "I have a child to look after and being in hospital isn't helping how i feel. I feel fine both mentally and getting better physically thank you, so i think you can leave now" i cross my arms and huff.

"Louis listen. I've looked at your hospital records and noticed you've been in countless of trips to a&e"

"So" i spit

"So... Its gotten to the point where you have been admitted to a ward"

"Look just get on with it. I want to leave as soon as possible. So whatever fucking questions you've got to ask me just hurry up please"

Doctor Payne stands up and shakes his head.

"Im going to leave the room and give you a few minute's to yourself. Okay try to calm yeah?"

"Whatever" i let him leave. I quickly grab my phone and ring Harry.

"Hey Lou whats going on?"

"You want know whats going on.? I'll tell ya. They brought a fucking psychiatrist. I hate him already"

"He's there to help Lou"

"I don't want help. I just wanna be home with Ni"

"Look just talk to him, please, hes there to help you."

"Fine!" I hang up when doctor Payne comes back in with a pen.

"Okay since you just want to get on with it we will.  
Have you been feeling depressed in the last two weeks?"

Yes. "No" i lie

He carries out the questionnaire, i lie on every single one.

He puts away the sheet he was using and just gets his out his notepad.

"So, tell me about yourself. Do you work? Your family? Interests?"

"Yes i work but probably don't have a job now. I have my mum"

"Are you close?"

"Not really"

"Would you like to talk more about it"

I think for a moment and decide to just tell him.

"Ugh, were not as close as we used to be before i came out to her about me being gay but she is still in my life she came to my wedding and babysits sometimes, so that means she still cares i guess" i explain.

"Oh"

He doesn't say much just writes his bullshit down.

"Do we have a problem here?" i sass, has he got a problem with me?

"No problem at all Louis. Im gay myself so i have nothing against you if that's what you were thinking"

"Kay" i huff.I still dont like him. Doctor Payne smiles and changes the subject.

"You said you're married? So where's this husband of yours?"

I swallow. I tap my fingers on the bed nervously. "He's at work"

"And you've been together how long?"

"14 years now"

"You have a child?"

"Uh... Yes we have a 4 year old son"

"And your husband is looking after him?"

"Yes" i gulp.

"Okay..." he has this weird look on his face. I find it creepy.

"Has he ever hit you?"

My face heats up. He doesn't have a right to ask me questions like that!

"No he hasn't!" I shout. 

"It was only a question Sir, theirs no need to raise your voice"

"And theirs no need for that long ass nose of yours to stick in my business"

He doesn't even respond to my outburst.

"I'd like to meet your husband, ask him a few questions maybe and then your son. If that's okay with you?"

"No it's not okay. You're just here to ask me a few questions, then you'll be gone"

"I'm afraid you've got it wrong, that's not how this works"

"What do you mean?"

"Well by the looks of it, it seems you are very emotionally unstable and are a risk high to yourself and your child"

I laugh. He can't be serious. Me a risk?

"Are you having a laugh? I love my son, i wouldn't lay a finger on him. And i don't harm myself"

"Then how did you get your injuries?"

"Why should it matter! You know what? I've had enough. Just leave Doctor Payne. I didn't ask for a shrink" I sneer his name. He really is a Payne is the backside. Nosy ass, asking me all these personal question! Calling me emotionally unstable, how dare he!

"Okay... Louis. I know you're not going to want to hear this but if you don't start telling me the truth, you wont be allowed to leave the hospital and i'll have to get the police involved"

Is he threatening me? How am i supposed to get Zayn to meet him if i cant even contact him! I feel like crying. I rub my temples. I've got a banging headache.

After a few more rubs and thinking on what to do, a brilliant idea pops into my head.

"Okay" i speak.

"Okay what?" he questions.

"You can meet him, he'll tell you the truth, since you don't believe me"

"I didn't say i don't believe you, i just know a liar when i see one. I'll just need his name so i can write it down"

What a bastard. It's not my fault im a bad liar. I compose myself. Right i have to make this believable. I speak.

"His name is Harry" I mutter and he writes the name down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the people that commented on the last chapter. I will continue this story so dont worry. You can also read this story on Wattpad as that is where i update the most and it takes a while to update on here soo yeah.  
> Please keep commenting as it helps me with my motivation to update x What do you think will happen next? Thoughts on Felix Payne?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter

"I don't think i can lie, Lou... You know my voice gets squeaky and high when i lie"

"Please Harry, i need you to do this. Please, its the only way i can get out and look after my son. Imagine being in my position. You don't know if your child is okay or not because your not there" i begin to tear up.

"Lou... I'll do okay" he hugs me for a good minute then apologies when he pulls away.

Niall and Liam were at school when i rang Harry to come down to the hospital. Doctor Payne in the arse went to go get himself a drink.  
I just hope he buys this story.

Doctor Payne walked in with his expensive bottle of water and half eaten snicker bar. He didn't even look at us until he sat down.

He stuff the chocolate bar into his man fucking bag and looked up.

I wasnt expecting him to stare at Harry like that. He's just looking at him. Doctor Payne shifts in his chair and choughs.

"Its... Its... You" Doctor Payne manages to say to Harry. I look at Harry who is giving the Doctor the same look.

"Felix!?" He almost shouts, now standing up.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asks him. Whats going on? Do they know each other? Im so confused.

"I know for a fact you're not his husband. Why are you here Harry?" Felix questions him.

I tap on Harrys arm. "Haz whats going on?".  
"This is the asshole, Louis. The asshole i never wanted to see again"

Oh. My. Gosh. This can't be real.

"No fucking way, Haz! You banged an old geezer and didn't tell me. Holy shit Harry!"

Harrys face goes red. I dont know if he's embarrassed or angry. Probably both. No wonder Harry never told me about Liam's real dad.

Well shit just got awkward.

"I have a job to do. Where's Mr Malik?" Felix ignores what just happened.

"Oh no, don't change the subject now. This is hilarious. I dont want you here Doctor Payne. You fucking old bastard. How old even are you?"

Felix swallows hard. He looks like he wants to just die right there.

"We need to keep this professional Louis... I will not discuss my personal life with a patient. Now please Harry leave and maybe you" he turns to me, "can get discharge like you want, yes?" Felix questions.

Before i say anything, Harry storms right out the door.

I can't run after him for the pain in my back.

I cannot believe this old man is Liams father. And i cannot believe Harry fucked with an old guy.

"How old even are you?" I ask the old creep.

"61" he says and i gag. Liams around 5 so they fucked when Felix was around 56. The thought of that makes me sick.

"Cannot believe you got him pregnant..." i mumble.

"What do you mean pregnant? Harry didn't get pregnant" He asks shocked, nervously laughing.

"I don't think this is my place to say anything" i tell him regretting bringing it up. 

It takes him afew mintues for the news that he has a kid kicks in.

He takes a deep breath and closes his notepad.

"Well i think this evaluation is done. I will tell the staff you can leave" he stands up stiffly and makes his way out. 

What a day. What were the chances of that happening.

Poor Haz. I get my phone and call Harry and he picks up.

"I'm sorry i left. I just needed to get away from him" he apologises, i tell him it's okay.

"Cant believe out of all the people to evaluate you it was him"

"Haz... Why didn't you tell me he was old?" I ask. 

"Because you i know you Louis. You wouldn't have been happy with it,  especially his age" he says. 

"Yes im not okay with his age. Im just shocked right now" Very shocked indeed.

I decide to change the subject. And tell him im getting realsed from the hospital. We arrange for Harry to pick me up.

The nurse comes in and changes my bandages one last time before giving me a tub of the soothing cream to put on my back every morning and night. I thank her and change into the grey Adidas tracksuit that Harry bought me the other day.

I leave the hospital and wait for Harry to pick me up.

While im waiting i see Felix walk to me.

"What?" I ask when he gets close to me.

"Do i really have a child?"

"Look just talk to Harry about it. I don't want to say the wrong thing"

"Look this was the first time ive seen Harry in years. We lost contact and i dont think he wants to get intouch. But if you could give me his number it would be a real help" i shake my head at him,

"Why wont you help?"

"Because Harry told me you're a scumbag. An asshole. A bastard. So just fuck off" i don't want to be around this guy anymore.  Wheres Harry?

"Here" he passes me a card.

"Whats this?"

"Its my number. Please give it to Harry and tell him that its also my child" and with they being said he leaves. 

Harry finally pulls up and i get in.

"Thanks" i say.

We start driving towards Harry's house. I start to panic. Niall will be sick if he sees me bruised this badly.

"Haz... can you just drop me home please" he says no and parks his car in his driveway.

"Nialls not here nor is Liam. They're are at a sleep over i forgot to tell you" He says and we get out the car and walk into his home.

"Your favourite mug" he says after he gets the house warms, puts the tv on and hands me the cup of tea.

"Felix gave me this to give to you" i hand him the card,

"He said its his kid too"

"Still the same number..." he rips the card and throws it on the floor.

"Im with you Harry. If you dont want to get in contact then you dont have to"

Harry starts to tear up.

"Felix is kind of right. Liam is his child too. And if anyone tried to keep my child from me i dont know what id do"

I hold Harrys hand. "Listen you decide on what you think is best for you and for Liam"

He nods and sniffles.

We sit there just holding hands watching the tv.

The realisation hits me. I have no job. My child barely wants to see me. And my husband has ran off.

I dont know what to do from here...


End file.
